Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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