can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
