We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
