All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
