i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
