I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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