You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
