I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
