im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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