ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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