Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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