Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
