I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
