Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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