but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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