This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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