Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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