It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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