Having a random hookup so left but love u
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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