My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
