God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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