Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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