Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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