Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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