careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
