We're like a lot better than the average bears
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It was confusing and full of hummus
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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