I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Boobs are out for the taking
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
