Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
