She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
