They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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