my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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