Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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