Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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