Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We don't watch enough power rangers
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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