her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
