I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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