i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
