You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
