so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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