If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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