I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just wanna soil my oats bro
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
