This is not my ceiling
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
