He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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