I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
