I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
