john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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