No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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