absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
