I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I would ride that face into the sunset
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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