The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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