I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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