Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
