Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
