okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
